Tinder: the only reason I’m on Facebook. PGP.

In some ways, I might be turning into the female version of George Costanza. PGP.

The overly aggressive automatic flusher just sprayed shit all over my clothes. PGP.

Really wishing I could ctrl+z in real life situations. PGP.

1: Want to grab lunch? 2: Can’t, Gotta return RedBox DVD’s. PGP.

Boss had me chauffeur him to a job site to avoid parking. Got an hour long nap out of the deal. PGP.

Can’t Snap my deuces to friends because of the office’s automatic thrones. PGP.

I submitted a two-day vacation request while my boss was on a three-week vacation. The day he got back, he rejected my request. PGP.

The best thing that has happened since getting a full-time job: McDonald’s breakfast. The worst thing that has happened since getting a full-time job: McDonald’s breakfast. PGP.

I call our outsourced team in India more than I call my mother. PGP.

My best friend has a smoking hot fiancée and bought a house. I find myself resenting him. PGP.

Having to buy the same fiber supplement you always saw at your grandparent’s house. PGP.