Chewed out by IT for having Chrome extensions, but not for the 68GB of pirated movies on my work computer. PGP.

In yesterday’s mail I received: a mortgage statement, a bill from my dermatologist, and a wedding invitation. So, all bills. PGP.

Bringing an “Out Of Order” sign on your bathroom breaks so you can drop your deuces in peace. PGP.

Had a great first date last night. We bonded over how terrible cable companies are. PGP.

Canceling a date for Sunday brunch while in bed with a different date Saturday night. PGP.

It has been a month since I was hired and I am still not sure if I am doing my job correctly. PGP.

Had a dream I was back in college. Quickly turned into a nightmare when I was called into HR. PGP.

Up to two naps a day now. PGP.

Your PGP submissions getting more action than you this summer. PGP.

What the fuck is ergonomics? PGP.

How the fuck did I graduate? PGP.

A company partner asked me “What do you want to be when you grow up?” PGP.