Just bought my first car! It’s 6 years old. PGP.

My kitchen has two plates, one spoon, one fork, one knife, and one whiskey glass. PGP.

My paycheck bounced. PGP.

Being able to either buy the new iPhone or pay my rent early. Hello iPhone. PGP.

Buying high. Selling low. PGP.

Finding weed is hard. PGP.

That audible sigh of relief when you find out that everyone’s least-favorite person isn’t coming in today. PGP.

Just ate a Krispy Kreme left over from Friday. PGP.

The fuck is a Shmoney Dance? PGP.

I have been working here for five months now. Only yesterday was I informed that our building has a free 24 hour gym that’s nicer than the one I’ve been paying for. PGP.

I’m on a first name basis with the Chinese delivery guy, but none of my neighbors. PGP.

The only thing I have in common with the other women in my office is our love of Crockpots. PGP.