No amount of water can fix this Adderall and coffee induced cotton mouth. PGP.
The automatic toilet flushing mid-shit. PGP.
My only active group text message is with my parents. PGP.
When my boss is out of the office, I use his private bathroom and flip his toilet paper the wrong way around. PGPM.
I need to lose weight because I got fat. I can’t afford to lose weight because my suits won’t fit. PGP
Can’t wait for November so I can stop shaving and not feel guilty about it. PGP.
Taking Nyquil because you refuse to become addicted to prescription sleeping drugs. PGP.
“I’m going to keep this brief…” PGP.
Had to give myself a pep talk this morning. PGP.
I have a constant day dream of watching “The Big Lebowski” in my bathtub while eating a large pizza. PGP.
Just trying to make it to lunch. PGP.
Pants comin’ off, on a Tuesday. Box of wine and a Redbox Movie. PGP.