I spend more time researching Ebola than doing my job. PGP.

“At least I have my dignity,” as you walk into a thrift shop. PGP.

The sweeping relief when your mother-in-law finally leaves. PGP.

I’ve been staring at tiny numbers for two years. Had to get glasses. PGP.

Office-wide, passive aggressive reminder emails of break room rules being continuously sent on a weekly basis. PGP.

Going from a Lexus to a Honda. PGP.

Taking the middle stall in the office bathroom to throw everyone else off. PGPM.

Last week, my boss threw a pen at me. This week, he told me I was doing a great job and going places. PGP.

Sexually peaking seven years ago. PGP.

I asked the breakfast taco guy in our lobby how much he makes in a day. Looks like I’m in the wrong business. PGP.

My orange juice tasted really good in the car this morning. Then I realized I didn’t brush my teeth. PGP.

Taking full advantage of Dockers patented elastic waistline. PGP.