Your password must contain a number, a capital letter, a foreign country, and the name of one dead president. PGP.

Purposely answering when telemarketers call, just so you can yell at someone without consequence. PGP.

Awkward office arguments over the Zimmerman verdict. PGP.

Making the minimum contribution to your 401k. PGP.

“I didn’t have any problems until the IT guy got a hold of my computer.” PGP.

Making the switch from regular to caffeine-free. PGP.

Getting a bonus, but spending it on plane tickets for a wedding you have to attend. PGP.

That awkward moment when the person that was destroying the toilet in the stall next to you walks out at the same time. PGP.

“I should probably start going to church.” PGP.

Being 15 minutes early to happy hour. PGP.

Sitting at your desk until everyone leaves so you can use that as an excuse to leave early the rest of the week. PGP.

“It’s a great networking opportunity.” PGP.

I’ve eaten at Chick-fil-A three times this week. PGP.

The realization that money does, in fact, buy happiness, and you have none. PGP.

Slept an extra hour because I forgot to set my alarms, but I feel more tired because I had to rush to work. PGP.

Getting a haircut during your lunch break. PGP.

Only getting $10 of gas because you’re so close to the next credit card billing period. PGP.

The awkward silence when your boss asks what you’re working on. PGP.

Celebrating your birthday with ice cream cake in the break room. PGP.

Everyone in my department is at least twice my age. PGP.