Just found out the girl I’ve been texting has a 6 year old. PGP.

I jaywalked this morning just to feel alive

“I think I’m gonna make the switch from coffee to tea.” PGP

I’m experimenting with new ironing techniques. PGP

I’m the only one in the office who can fix the copier when it jams. That’s real job security.

“Which way did you take to get around that accident”? #PGP

Sort by Price: Low to High. PGP.

The desperate search for decent talk radio when traveling for work.

“Please let me know if you have anymore questions!”

It’s easier just to lie to people and say I’m still in college

Chris Borland is my hero for retiring at 26. PGP.

Happy Hour on a Monday? This can’t go wrong right?