The dad body with no intentions of becoming a father

I had a dream that my tombstone was chiseled in Comic Sans font.

My dad is the only person who “liked” my experience update on LinkedIn.

Rumor is the Director knocked up the intern, things just kicked up a notch today

Justin Spieth is 21 and won 1.8 million by winning The Masters. I’m 24 and won 2 bucks on a scratch off. PGP.

Sometimes I just sit on the toilet to avoid people. PGP.

Started from the bottom, now i’m in Omaha. PGP

“Did you get that e-mail I just sent you?” PGP.

So many door handle pulls while I’m in the handicap stall. PGP.

Jordan Spieth is 21 and leading the Master’s. I’m 25 and making copies in a cubicle. PGP.

6 wings and one beer turned into 30 wings and me blacking out at Wing Night. PGP

This is my cubicle, there are many like it, but this one is mine. PGP.