Came back home drunk on a Thursday night to hear, “How was your night honey?” From my mom.

I’m not going to pay my bills until lunchtime because I want to see my bank account with that money for just a little bit longer. PGP.

Pretty sure I’m the guy who’s always humming in my office. PGP.

Starbucks taste; break room budget.

Moved a meeting to buy Garth tickets the minute they go on sale.

Putting “Fake Smiling” on my Linkedin skills page

The title Housewife is looking pretty good right now PGP

2 billion dollar company. 1 ply toilet paper. #PGP

Been texting back an forth with three women at once today: My mom, my sister, and my boss. PGP

Thinking long term

Bring your child to work day. PGP.

One of my biggest fears is that a handicap person will come in the bathroom while I’m using the handicap stall. PGP.