Babe flirting with me in the bar turned out to be a hooker. I couldn’t afford it. PGP

I’m drunk in my LinkedIn profile pic. PGP.

Those people on the technical school commercials look more happy and successful than me. PGP.

I didn’t drink at all yesterday. This morning I feel like a million bucks, that I’ll probably never have. PGP.

I haven’t been this sober on my birthday since high school. PGP

I still make out in bars.PGP

Visited my college over the weekend. Blew my knee out running from the cops. PGP.

I only see friends at weddings or bachelor parties.

My dad started following me on instagram. PGP

My boss said “welcome home” when I walked in the office this morning. #PGP

Knowing the perfect speed limit so you hit only green lights on your commute. PGP

Reopened my tab to watch my team lose in overtime