Avoiding bathroom eye contact with coworkers, like two shits passing in the night. PGP.

Just uttering “Mornin'” to a coworker because you’re apparently too lazy to say “Good morning.” PGP.

Looking forward to listening to my new audio book on my commute home tonight. #PGP

Debating if my ability to lie to clients is a credit to my resourcefulness or a sign of my lack of morality

“Could you cover for me while I’m out this week?” PGP.

The “Can I get your John Hancock on this?” for paperwork requiring a signature. PGP

Woodford Reserve taste. Evan Williams budget. PGP

All of my phone calls with coworkers last about 20 seconds, and someone always ends up saying “Just email me that information.”

“Reaching out” to people instead of just emailing or calling them. PGP

Boss just sat me down to discuss a new “distribution of responsibilities” in the office i.e. we’re giving you way more work but we will still pay you the same. PGP

Tuscany taste, Yellow Tail budget. PGP

Your boss complaining about being broke. PGP.