Realized at a high school grad party that I’m the drunk cousin. PGP.

My friends got married and engaged this past weekend. I wasted $7 on a claw crane. PGP.

I was 150% productive yesterday; I’m about 30% productive today. It’s called balance. PGP.

Went down a floor in my office building to throw up this morning so my co-workers don’t think I’m a degenerate. PGP.

I’ve started getting irrationally angry at emails that do not have easy to read fonts. PGP.

The teachers on summer vacation, complaining about how little they make, make more than me. PGP.

“Where’s your green?” PGP.

That moment of sheer panic when your boss walks into your office Monday morning and asks “What are you working on right now?” and you are reading Sunday Scaries from PGP. PGP.

“Looks like you got some sun.” PGP.

Being ghosted by multiple companies that you interviewed with. PGP.

The realization that I’m officially closer to 30 than I am to 20. PGP.

Told I’m one of the top 2 candidates. Didn’t get the job. PGP.

Being in a constant state of “just gotta get to the weekend.” PGP.

Girlfriend puked in an Uber this weekend, considering taking $300 out of a mutual fund that I parked away cash for her engagement ring. PGP.

Being locked in a room with idiots all day. PGP.

My office is located off I-85. In Atlanta. PGP.

Being old enough to remember when Facebook was cool. PGP.

Taking a PTO day with plans to get hammered the night before because, “It’s been a while.” PGP.

‘Ctrl + C’ing when you should’ve ‘Crtl + V’ed. PGP.

Sat at my desk and realized I left my computer at home. PGP.