Having to create a word document to keep track of your usernames and passwords. PGP.

Work Christmas party is a cash bar. PGP.

Just got a promotion and a raise. I now make less per hour. PGP.

Cried on the way to work today. PGP.

Happy Friday! PGP.

Got excited when I was invited to get drinks with “the girls.” Bailed when I heard we weren’t meeting until 10pm. PGP.

Thinking of using the staple gun on your hand just so you can feel something..anything. PGP.

Not knowing what PGPM means. PGP.

Moved my dinning room table last night. Woke up with lower back pain this morning. PGP.

Entering liquor on my fitness pal. PGP.

Dry spell is approaching ‘Nam-like proportions. Neverending. PGP.

Threw out some vodka in my freezer to make room for Hot Pockets. PGP.

Ferris Bueller is turning 53. PGP.

“We’re sorry, but AT&T U-Verse is not available in your area.” PGP.

The last two girls I dated have gotten engaged to the guy after me. PGP.

Internet Explorer is our default browser and I can’t change it. PGP.

Started calling my supervisor “Pledge Master” because I swear he’s hazing. PGP.

My doctor just voluntarily offered me a Xanax prescription. I’m here for the flu. PGP.

Each day I relate more and more to Phil Dunphy. PGP.

Just found out I’m working a full day Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. PGP.