Someone just microwaved broccoli again. PGP.

It’s easier just to lie to people and say I’m still in college. PGP.

I got Kentucky winning it in all of my brackets. PGP.

My friend just had a kid, and now he sucks. PGP.

Reading PGP on a Friday night because I’ve been asked to come in early on Saturday. PGP.

Fell for a Tinder bot…again. PGP.

Telling myself “I’m only going to work here for like a year tops”. That was 3 years ago. PGP.

All of the responsibility but none of the authority to get the project done. PGP.

Apparently everyone at my office is a meteorologist. PGP.

Forgetting to turn the volume down while watching the Spring Break story on Snapchat while at work. PGP.

Adopting a “maintain, don’t gain” diet mindset. PGP.

“I think I’m gonna make the switch from coffee to tea.” PGP.

Owing the federal government money instead of them owing you money. PGP.

No one is going out this weekend because of the snow. PGP.

Learning to check the left hand when conversing with a member of the opposite sex. PGP.

Custodian just has to clean the restroom right as I’m dropping the Browns off at the Super Bowl. PGP.

Got an email from Credit Karma wishing me a happy birthday. PGP.

Knowing that you’ll be talked into going out tonight even though it’s a Tuesday. PGP.

My secret handicap stall now has a lock to gain access. PGP.

The old guy gives me the McGavin “shooter” every time I walk by him in the hall. PGP.