Panicking because you forgot to put on a belt then remembering you’ll be working at a cubicle all day. PGP

My subordinates have united and developed a strong bond out of a mutual hatred for me.

My new boss just explained the way fractions work to me. I majored in Math. PGP.

I just Ralph’d in the break room trash can.

What’s Hinge ? PGP

Getting hyped up on LinkedIn Inbox messages only to realize they’re just either generic or computer generated messages. PGP

I’m pretty sure my interview yesterday was for a Ponzi scheme. PGP.

Went to my upstairs neighbors to tell them they were being too loud. It was 10 p.m.. On Friday.

“Happy birthday! Do you have any plans?!” – colleague you’ve never talked to

“Do you want your door open, closed, … ?” PGP.

Coworkers still quote the GEICO hump day commercial. Every. Single. Week.

My car is too old to drive for uber