Knowing that any PTO requests should be made approximately 15mins after your boss has his mid-morning snack. PGP.

My work husband just put in his two week notice. Is this what divorce feels like?

I haven’t left a happy hour actually feeling happy in days.

The “I need you to come in this weekend” talk. PGP.

On day 3 of wearing the same pair of dress pants. People have noticed. I don’t care.

Someone just microwaved a seafood pot pie in the office break room. PGP

Delaying going to the bathroom because you have to pass through the break room and don’t want your coworkers to notice how long you take. PGP.

My office wife is also my actual wife. PGP

That death glare from the 5th floor receptionist because she’s starting to realize I only come there to use the cleaner, less crowded bathrooms. PGP.

The sound of typing will be the end of me today.

Gonna pop some perfume on today in hope that people will think I’m getting laid on my lunch breaks.

I broke down and cried tears of joy when my parents offered to pay for new brake pads.