The feeling of walking into an empty restroom. PGP

Boss came up to talk to me while I was changing a nearby gym locker room. I literally showed my ass to the boss. PGP

It took a year of networking and befriending IT to get the Wifi password. PGP

I get paid $25/hr. I still go halves on a $10 bottle of vodka. PGP.

“I’m sorry I don’t handle that.” PGP

I feel like a western gunslinger whenever I alt-tab as my boss walks by. PGP

The interns were my ghost writers.. PGP

If anyone actually saw how I eat alone in my cubicle, they would be disgusted. #PGP.

Just got an outlook invite for an ice cream and cake party to celebrate my last day of work. Fuck. PGP

Counting “typing” as physical exercise and recording it in MyFitnessPal. PGP.

I’m currently getting paid 28.25 an hour to watch netflix at my desk. PGP.

I’m basically the Jim Halpert of the office, and I just got yelled at for it.