People think I’m growing a beard, I’m just too lazy to go buy razors.

Expecting a raise despite the fact that i do absolutely nothing at work. PGP

Office baby showers. PGP.

Waking up and having to poop at home and not the office. PGP.

Company Christmas party was dry. PGP.

I haven’t had a legitimate answer to “what are you working on?” since before thanksgiving. PGP

Chris just came down and told me about his bowling league last night. I despise everything about Chris. PGP.

Computer died today. Got replaced with a Mac with a huge screen. Now the whole office can see what I’m working on at all times. PGP

Wearing double knee braces when you go skiing. PGP.

Sometimes I use my coworker’s condiments, just to feel alive. PGP

The person in the cube over from me will not stop humming Christmas songs. PGP.

Emails starting with “just some unsolicited advice…” PGP.