The “keep messenger from saying I’m ‘Away'” mouse jiggle at the end of the day. PGP.

IT blocked ESPN. PGP.

Being two cups of coffee and a shit deep before anyone else gets to the office. PGP.

With the interns going back to school, I’m back to being the youngest in the office. PGP.

Counting down the days until my coworker nemesis goes on maternity leave. PGP.

“Please sign here and initial here”. PGP.

I want to complain about my job but I signed the NDA. PGP.

I’m at least 20 years younger than everyone in my office. PGP.

I sound so much nicer in my office voicemail than I actually am in real life. PGP.

Knowing your cube mate’s bathroom schedule. PGP.

Since becoming a dad, I’ve become so out of touch with fashion I don’t think Johnny D’s clothes look that bad. PGP.

I thought Sausage Party was too over the top. PGP.