We’re Overanalyzing Our Interactions On Social Media And It’s Turning Us Into Monsters

We’re Overanalyzing Our Interactions On Social Media And It’s Turning Us Into Monsters

I have what a medical professional would most likely call “garden-variety anxiety.” Basically what this means is that like most functioning adults, I sometimes become anxious in certain situations. Laying in bed on a Sunday night gives me anxiety, which in turns makes my heart race and obviously contributes to a poor night of rest.

Looking through text messages I sent after a night out on the town makes my heart beat around the same rate that it does after I polish off a large cup of cold brew from Starbs.

I don’t have anything close to a problem that qualifies me for a Xanax prescription (although, I would love to have one for Sunday nights pretty much exclusively), but like any normal human being, I sometimes get anxious. I think we can all agree that there isn’t a single person on Earth who doesn’t occasionally get nervous or perturbed at some point or another.

Over-analyzing situations is what I do best. And it only gets worse the more that I drink. I think way too hard about pretty much every social interaction I’ve ever had, whether it be professional or personal. Did I shake his hand too hard? Was I talking too much about myself to that girl? Why did I come to this fucking party? I’ve gotten a lot better recently at curbing some of these thoughts, but they still pop up from time to time.

These are all questions I have internally when I’m talking to someone. But talking to someone in person and interacting online are two totally different animals. I would go so far as to say that when it comes to Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat, I go even more in depth in terms of analyzation than I do with person to person interactions. We all do it. It’s shameful and kind of sad and disgusting, but we all do it. And it’s really difficult to control. We’ll scroll through the list of people who liked our picture on our most recent Instagram and think about each one individually and what their motive was behind their like.

That Snapchat that you thought was super clever? She opened it fifteen minutes ago and didn’t even bother to send back a “haha whyyyyyy” message.

You made a witty comment on someone’s Facebook post about Donald Trump’s OCD tendencies but it didn’t garner any likes. What’d you do wrong?

Your Instagram photo is doing numbers right now and your ex-girlfriend liked it despite the fact that she won’t return your phone calls. What the hell does that mean? Should you give her a call? Does she still love you?

What does all of this really mean? It could mean that your ex wanted to fuck with you when she liked that picture of you and your buddy on Instagram. Maybe your “friend” whose Facebook post you commented on doesn’t actually like you. And maybe that girl who you thought you had a shot with finds your Snapchats annoying and derivative.

Social media is bullshit when it comes to stuff like this. It’s important to remember that interactions on social media are not what defines you as a human being. And just like most things in life, the simplest answer to a question regarding a post on social media is usually the correct one.

Your ex-girlfriend likes literally everyone’s Instagram pictures and you need to chill out on the phone calls and text messages. She doesn’t want you to reach out and she genuinely just liked the photo because you and your friend looked happy in it. There are no hidden meanings behind her tapping that heart button.

Your buddy who wrote the Facebook post about Donald Trump didn’t respond to your comment because it was off-topic and he was trying to have a serious discussion about the state of the nation.

And maybe that girl who you Snapchatted is just busy right now and doesn’t have time to snap you back. Believe it or not, people have other things to do with their time than respond to your Snapchats.

Social media is a ruthless game. We post on Twitter, Instagram, and to our Snapchat story because that’s what everyone else does. But the sooner you realize that interactions on these websites are just as inconsequential as your handshake with a friend of a friend of a friend, the happier and more carefree you’ll be. None of this shit matters and there’s no need to start over-thinking your social media tendencies. We all have bigger fish to fry.

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Johnny D

fashion icon. @dudaronomy on twitter. e-mail:

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