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There are a variety smells that you associate with very specific events in your life. I’m not certain, but I could swear my first kiss was wearing a stolen bottle of her mom’s Clinique Happy when we kissed underneath a streetlight in front of my old house. I can differentiate between my aunt’s hashbrowns and normal hashbrowns. And the smell of a snuffed candle will forever take me back to my dad letting me help clean up after they’d throw one of their dinner parties.
Because in the 90s, dinner parties seemed to run as rampant as perms, Zima, and banning your kids from watching that dreadful MTV. Every Friday or Saturday night, my parents either were heading out for a dinner or cocktail party, or they were furiously running around the house trying to make sure everything was in order before anywhere between three to six couples showed up for the duration of the night to laugh at each other’s jokes and gossip about the couples who didn’t make the cut when the invite phone calls were made.
“Do you want to take the coats tonight?” they’d ask me before I’d bring my mom’s friend’s fur coat to their bedroom where I’d jump on the bed and pass out watching The Sandlot or Mighty Ducks. I’d hide upstairs looking through our banister while there appeared to be a Gatsby-esque party below my feet with people telling dirty stories and drinking even dirtier martinis. Lavish or not, everything seemed lavish when you’re an 8-year-old kid in pajamas watching people eat shrimp cocktails and drink fancy named things that came out of bottles with corks.
But those days seemed to have come and gone. Vanished into thin air like the notion that it was okay to smoke indoors or drink roadies anywhere you went. The pageantry of a well-thrown dinner party is nothing but a thing of the past. A relic of a time gone by where the preparations included (but were not limited to) loading the 8-CD changer with the Sister Act soundtrack, Kenny G., and Michael Bolton. Dinner parties, or even cocktail parties for that matter, feel as out of place as oversized pleated khakis and turtleneck sweaters on men. Frankly, it’s upsetting.
I want to think it’s a sign of the times. “There are too many good restaurants,” you say. “No one owns houses anymore,” you tell me. “It’s expensive to throw a party for ten people,” you complain while Venmo’ing your friend $40 for a lunch that includes nothing more than a half-eaten sandwich and a split bottle of rosé. But that’s hogwash; nothing more than a slew of excuses to get out of doing a few dishes and stocking your bar up for the first time since you moved in.
There don’t need to be caterers, valets, bartenders, and a cleanup crew. There doesn’t need to be a cold seafood bar or a tower of overflowing champagne cups next to an ice sculpture. Just a case of discounted wine, the sweet sounds of a jazzy Spotify playlist, and enough couples in attendance that a request of “just bring over an appetizer” will fill the house with all the food you need. Hell, if you have kids, there you have your doormen and cleanup crew. It’s amazing the motivation an 8-year-old will have if promised five bucks and a taste of champagne. Trust me, I’ve been there.
I understand that, yes, these parties are going to be less Instagrammable than sushi at Ginger or stone oven pizza at Crust. But once you light a few tall candles, turn the volume dial up after dinner, and pop open that expensive bottle of wine you were intending to save for a special occasion, life’s troubles will fall by the wayside and everything else will fall into place. Between the wine and dip you brought to share and your Uber rides there and back, you’ll end up having a rip-roaring good old-fashioned 90s time for the price of one single steak at Chop.
But now that you bring it up, how did all of our parents get home from these things when there wasn’t Uber to shuttle everyone home once the red wine and martinis ran dry? Eh, some things are better left in the past. .
Image via Netflix / Frasier
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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Not a hot take, just a good take. Will deFries pushing tent at his best.
I agree. This is a good take, William. Dinner parties are dope, just have to make sure whoever is hosting actually knows how to cook something other than Kraft Mac n Cheese.
What is an ideal dinner party meal?
This is a take I can get behind. But this also reminds me of the lingerie and sex toy buying parties my mother would have with her friends. 10 years old and seeing a black dildo was not a good experience.
So I gather that the whole virgin shtick was bullshit
It’s times like these that I wish I hadn’t picked my username. Sometimes, I just want to be treated like a normal person… not like an omnipotent, omnibenevolent, omnipresent and omniscient God who died for your sins and rose after three days of kicking Satan’s ass at Texas Hold’Em and having a roast session for him.
I’m afraid that’s your cross to bear, Jesus.
Your profile picture gives me nightmares
Just tell me where da gold’s at and I’ll be on my merry way.
Sure does explain your fondness for Miss Mary Mag.
Why’s it gotta be a black dildo that’s giving you PTSD?
Let’s be honest, the only reason to host a party at your house is so you can comfortably get black out drunk.
Getting dibs on all the booze that is inevitably left at your place is also an excellent perk of hosting parties.
My best friend’s wife went to culinary school and one of her favorite things to do is host dinner parties. Her food always puts any restaurant in Food Town, USA (Houston) to shame. The Lord is good.
Houston is Food Town, USA? To quote our friend Bobby Big Wheels…. that’s just Banana-land.
As someone who regularly hosts dinner parties, in a 2 bedroom apartment, this is something I fully support. Get a nice beef tenderloin from Costco, make 1 killer side dish (twice baked potatoes) and a dessert (homemade chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwiches). Have your friends bring wine/drinks and appetizers. Everyone has a great time and a great meal for a fraction of the cost of a group dinner.
Man this really hits home. Pimento cheese sandwiches at my place for Masters Sunday. Air mattress comfortably seats six
Completely on board with this. While we do tend to throw a few barbecue parties in the summer, it would be nice to have a nice little cocktail party here and there
Can i come to the summer bbqs?
Ill bring adult beverages
Sure, bring your cornhole skills as well
They shall be brought with full force
I didn’t realize people weren’t doing this. I go to a dinner party every other week it seems like.
I am 100% behind this. I have some killer recipes I’ve been looking to show off to demonstrate my culinary superiority to my peers.
Sup? – My Stomach