How long have you been working here? PGP.

The song ” I don’t fuck with you” accurately describes how I feel about my coworkers. PGP.

Got excited when I was invited to get drinks with “the girls”. Bailed when I heard we weren’t meeting until 10pm. PGP.

I haven’t had a tinder match in weeks. PGP

Do you have any tums? PGP.

Too scared to click on the “Your card statement is ready” email the day after getting back from SXSW.

Called in sick and my boss asked if I could come in for a little while.

Margaritas give me acid reflux now.

This third cup of coffee was pointless. PGP.

Knowing that you’ll be talked into going out tonight even though it’s a Tuesday. PGP.