Inside sales at a small company you've never heard of. When I'm not on PGP, you can usually find me having a panic attack during a cold call or spilling coffee on my Tommy Bahama linen shirt. Sometimes I'm funny, but most of the time I'm just a dick.
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If I’m putting stuff up my nose at the office, it might as well be cocaine.
They can always count on Trickle Down Banging
“HR Manager.” Fuck yourself, Glassdoor. The world doesn’t need anymore Sociology majors.
Not when you’re playing with house money.
Jesus H Christ, I thought I was an angry person.
https://pgparchive.wpengine.com/the-definitive-power-ranking-of-condiments/
I already have everything at home except for the coleslaw dressing. I think I’m going to pick some up on my way home. Thank you sir.
Chick-Fil-A sauce is the fucking bomb. I would buy that shit in bulk if I could.
Your doctor sounds fun.
My body is ready.
This is one of those couples that’s going to get divorced twice. And Sara is going to take him for all he’s worth both times.
Remember, kids, socialism is never the answer. Fuck you Canada.
Holy novel, Batman
What a coincidence, my ex-girlfriend’s pet name for me was “insufferable asshole.”
Dave, chug wine and destroy ISIS
I bet Dave would do it.
If we send you money will you chug a glass of wine in the waitress’s face as soon as she brings it to you?
Yeah everyone knows the homeless people go to Ruby Tuesdays
Don’t you dare bring a fucking baby to my brunch spot. Brunch is sacred, and the last thing my hangover needs is a screaming child.
This article was almost as stunning and brave as Caitlyn Jenner.