Raise Your Hand If You’re Trying To Party Like You’re Still In College This Spring Break


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I’ve been saying “diet starts tomorrow” every Sunday since Thanksgiving. And every Monday, I end up getting a monstrous lunch that makes me wish I had worn a pair of elastic-waisted sweatpants to work rather than slim fit chinos. It was a seemingly endless cycle, until I got word that I have to get my #SpringBreakDiet on because I’m going on TFM Spring Break come March 11-14.

“TFM Spring Break in March?” you ask. Yeah, TFM Spring Break in March. While normally I try to stay away from partying like I’m a 21-year-old because my body physically can’t handle it anymore, there are certain times where exceptions need to be made. TFM’s Inception At Sea is clearly one of them.

Now, I’m not sure if you’re familiar with #VacationWill, but let me give you a brief rundown. He likes straw hats, tan lines, Miami Vices, and sunscreen that smells like coconuts. Even though I don’t know the bar situation on the cruise ship, I’m going to assume they have all of the aforementioned necessities including enough Piña Coladas and Strawberries Daiquiries to make the ample amount of Miami Vices to keep Roger Dorn and I happy at the blackjack table.

“But Will, aren’t your Scaries going to be through the roof drinking with college kids for a few days?” — Everyone Reading This

What are you, an idiot? Of course not. I only get so many opportunities as a 29-year-old to act immature anymore — college football tailgates, when the band gets back together in my hometown, and spring break. You’d have to be a fun-sucking bonehead to turn this opportunity down, especially given the fact that they’re offering screamin’ deals right now to get in on the action.

Not only is this all-inclusive as fuck, but they’re throwing private island EDM concerts. Yeah, I said, “private island EDM concerts.” So if you sign up and you’re looking for me, I’m going to be the guy with his shirt fully unbuttoned drinking something with a tiki straw coming out the top of it while chilling with The Chainsmokers and Lil’ Dicky, among a ton of others.

Okay, you in? Good. Here’s the deal — Running through Friday January 22nd, we are having a flash sale on inside cabins for Inception at Sea. The prices are as follows:

Triple: $399 +$200 taxes = $599 total per person
Double: $449 + $200 taxes = $649 total per person
Single: $939 + $200 taxes = $1139 total for one person

These prices are $280 off per person from the normal rate. To book, a $100 deposit per person is required and to reiterate, all travelers for the cruise must be 21 at time of sailing (March 11, 2016). I’m 29 and I’m not trying to drink with minors, so leave your kids and our weird 20-year-old friends at home.

Fill out this form and a spring break specialist will be in contact with you shortly.

Let’s get your chill vibes harnessed and have a blast. For all the info, head to TFM’s 2016 Spring Break and convince yourself to make the right decision.

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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