This Dude’s New Year’s Eve Story Makes Your Complaints About Uber’s Surge Pricing Sound So Lame

This Dude's New Year's Eve Story Makes Your Complaints About Uber's Surge Pricing Sound So Lame

My New Year’s Eve? I chilled hard in Traverse City, Michigan watching Michigan State get the piss kicked out of them by Alabama while sipping on some microbrews and eating bacon-wrapped dates. It was dope as hell and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, outside of maybe a night where Michigan State won.

But this dude? He had himself a night. He’s requested to remain anonymous, because I’m assuming he’s a young professional that doesn’t want his business life tainted by fire content.

I went to Nashville for New Years 2015 with my younger brother and a few of his friends. It was a last minute thing after we found a hotel room to cram 8 or 10 people in to and tickets to a bar that was hosting one of the many parties that were in Nashville that night. The city was busting at the seams from all the crowds in town for the Music City Bowl the nigth be-
fore, and the Lady Antellbellum show, and the general New Years festivities. We start walking to the bar from the hotel at about 8:00 pm in 27 degree weather. The walk took about 20 minutes and everyone was pretty frozen by the time we got there. It was an OK party, but no one got too rowdy and as soon as the ball dropped we split. A girl I knew from college had been texting and asking me to come join her and a few of her friends that were staying out later. She was cute and had always been into me in college, so I told her I would try to find her group after we got back to the hotel. We got back at around 12:20 AM, and everyone crashed except me.

I set out to meet up with the girl’s group about 12:40 AM solo. They had been bar hopping all night, and I started looking for the last bar she told me she was at. It was past midnight, but I thought a drink or two with her couldn’t hurt, and then it would be back to the hotel around 1:30 or 2:00. Whats the worst that could happen? The bar district was so crowded on just the sidewalks and streets, and there were so many flashing lights of police cars and traffic lights and neon bar signs it was hard to tell what line or crowd was trying to get into any given bar, as well as discern the name of each bar with so many signs flashing everywhere. I peered into a few, trying to catch a glimps of anyone from their group that I recognized.

I wasn’t about to pay $20.00 cover charges at every bar on the strip to check them all. I found one that looked like the one she described, so I stepped up to the crowd in front and started easing my way in. As I peered over a few people in front of me I saw what I thought was the girl I was looking for inside near the bar. I tried to look over the two guys in front of me to get a better view. Apparently there was a disagreement between the two of them and it had turned into an arguement that was now turning into a physical altercation. Given the crowd noise and my preoccupation with trying to see over them, I failed to notice what was going on right in front of me. I tried to step between them to see if there was a separate line for people paying cover. One of them assumed that I was jumping in as backup for the other in what was turning into a shoving match. I never saw the punch coming, but he landed it dead center in what must of been a Mayweather-worthy shot, because the next thing I knew I was on the ground, and everything went black.

I came to with about 10 people looking down at me and a sharp pain on the back of my head. The next thing I know I am being loaded into an ambulance by 2 EMTs. I vaugly remember looking at my hand and seeing an alarming amount of blood on my palm and fingers. I looked up at the EMT and asked ” Is this all mine?” He gave me a weird look and said, “Yeah bro, thats all you.” Looking back on it I am fairly sure I had a concussion from the back of my head hitting the sidewalk, but apparently it went unnoticed because of the blood on my face. The EMTs peppered me with questions, but I couldn’t recall the hotel I was staying at or my social security number (my head was throbbing, and I was getting dizzier by the second). The EMTs must have shot me up with something to put me out, because I don’t remember anything beyond that point. Literally everythign just went to black. A nurse wakes me up in a Nashville hospital and hands me a white board with an address on it. She says “This is where you are. Someone needs to come discharge you.” I looked at my hand and most of the blood is gone but my face felt funny. I look at my phone and see that it is now 4:30 in the morning. I feel around and notice my nose is apparently stitched back together, and my Sperrys are sitting on the bed with me( I guess even hospitals won’t let you pass out with your shoes on). My oxford is ripped and has blood stains on the collar. My pants are also blood stained. I was no longer wearing the sweater I had on earlier. There was a mirror on the wall, and I could see that I was in pretty rough shape. I try to call my brother and his friends but they are all passed out and my phone battery is dangerously low. He finally answers and I try to explain where I am, but whatever the EMTs put in my system is still having an effect,and I am having trouble stringing words together. Apparently I got the message across be cause he shows up about 5:30 AM and I am discharged. I spent the whole next day on the couch doped up on about 1000 mg of advil. I have to give the doctor credit because he did a nice job with the stitches and nothing scarred. It took about 2 months for all of the bills to show up in the mail, and they make a $300.00 Uber ride sound like a bargain.

The total bill for the night is as follows.

Bar Cover Charge $20.00

Ambulance Ride $ 874.00

Hospital Stay $ 376.00

Doctor’s Bill $1,346.00

Man, remember when Evan complained about his not-even-$400 Uber charge from New Year’s Eve? Must be nice, Evan. Must be nice.

Oh, and he sent me a follow up email — “Never found the girl by the way.” Might be the biggest tragedy of all.

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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