“If there’s a steady paycheck in it, I’ll believe anything you say.” – Winston Zedmore, PGP

I just can’t get up early enough to cook breakfast. PGP.

Got up and made some coffee just to kill a few minutes. PGP.

Having sex with my shirt on.

Zoning out for minutes at a time thinking about your golf swing. PGP.

Having to check instagrams to figure out whether or not she has kid(s). PGP.

I probably couldn’t outrun Rich Eisen. PGP.

Still hear the geico humpday phrase every wednesday. PGP

I have got to stop drinking like I’m still in college. PGP.