My friends moms aren’t hot anymore.

Lying about having seen a YouTube video so you don’t have to stand there and watch it.

Saw an old college hookup on a reality show on Bravo. PGP

Just met my girlfriend’s kids. They’re pretty cool.

Staying up to watch your team get no-hit. PGP.

My weed guy can’t meet up because he “has the kids tonight”. PGP.

My Venmo transactions got me called into a sit down with HR. PGP

“So how about Wisconsin?”. PGP.

Our sales guy just gave an entire presentation with his tie tucked into his pants. PGP.

It’s only Wednesday. PGP