My work spouse is starting to send me good morning texts. PGP

Clicking on different parts of your desktop constantly to look as if you’re actually doing something. PGP

When leaving 5 min later than normal costs you 45 minutes on your commute…PGP.

39 years, 5 months, 6 days, 4 hours, 30 minutes till retirement. PGP.

“Hi! I’m just calling to follow up” PGP

“Your password has expired.”

My work mom asked me when I’m going to start thinking about settling down #PGP

The cleaning lady and I have the same bathroom schedule. PGP.

I can never look too happy because people will think I’m not working hard enough. PGP.