My girlfriend gained too much weight this year to pull off a slutty Halloween costume. PGP.

We hired two “quality control officers” to monitor office productivity. My office literally just brought in “The Bobs.” PGP.

Getting a rejection letter four minutes after applying for a job. PGP.

I don’t know how long basic produce stays good for. PGP.

Yesterday was my boss’s birthday and we ate at a Brazilian steakhouse on the company card. Today was my birthday and I ate a Wendy’s baconator alone in my car. PGP.

Girlfriend, 401(k), gym membership. Pick one. PGP.

I have no self control. PGP.

Tindering while cold calling. PGP.

I’m not in a dry spell. Just letting the market breathe. PGP.