Labor Day can’t come soon enough. PGP.

Getting a new match on Tinder gives me the same false promise that my degree did. PGP.

That 10am Bio 101 class doesn’t seem so bad anymore. PGP.

My life is now just looking forward to the next time I get drunk and hate myself for it. PGP.

Submitting the same rejected PGP wall post three times because you know most sales occur on the third call. PGP.

It used to be “No new friends” because I didn’t want any. Now it’s “no new friends” because I can’t make any. PGP.

I miss being able to relate to TFM. PGP.

Everyone at the company baseball game bought beer. I bought Dippin Dots. PGP.

The only thing I’ve done at work today is creep on girls on Instagram and make World Cup futures bets. PGP.