Stole a bottle of Tabasco from Chipotle today, just to feel something. Anything. PGP.

$35k is a fancy way of saying “I live paycheck-to-paycheck.” PGP.

I have a client whose last name is Bond. Every time he calls me, I say “Good evening, Mr.Bond” in an evil villain voice. He must hate me. PGP.

How does one get into white collar crime? PGP.

Tinder: the only reason I’m on Facebook. PGP.

I don’t know how long basic produce stays good for. PGP.

I’m not in a dry spell. Just letting the market breathe. PGP.

I thought once I graduated, I would would be living like Jordan Belfort. I was tragically mistaken. PGP.