Taking a bright-eyed, eager new hire under my wing and ever-so-subtly transferring my daily workload to him. PGPM.

I just played the “maybe I have another offer, maybe I don’t” game with a couple companies, and got one to up my offer. PGPM.

When I get bored at work, I just get pictures of goats off the internet and send the pictures to my coworkers in emails marked “important.” PGP.

Realizing “Friends” is bullshit, because I don’t even know five single people much less hang out with them across the hall. PGP.

Just broke up with my girlfriend. First thing I did was look at PGP for how to Tinder. PGP.

Girlfriend got into bed with her retainer in…again. PGP.

My office nemesis nominated me for the ALS ice bucket challenge. PGP.

It has been a month since I was hired and I am still not sure if I am doing my job correctly. PGP.