My beer chugging skills now are solely used to chug meal replacement smoothies. PGP.

Not getting drunk on the weekends. PGP.

The most attractive girls at the office are always the summer interns. PGP.

The Tesla Model III sounds awesome and everything, but I doubt I’ll have $35,000 by 2017. PGP.

I’m not working FIFO or LIFO. I’m working FILO. PGP.

Quit my job on my birthday. Best gift I have ever received. PGP.

Not knowing where you stand. With anyone. PGP.

Can’t update my iPhone software because my iTunes is too old. Can’t update my iTunes because my MacBook is too old. PGP.

I created an entire imaginary future based on the one job application I just filled out. PGP.

I no longer care if a client sees that I looked them up on LinkedIn right after a call to see if they are hot or not. PGP.