Being surprised when you’re not hungover. PGP.

I don’t poop at home so I have something to do at the office. PGP.

The insanely difficult 5:30 decision between hitting the gym or bottle. PGP.

My career arc is disturbingly similar to Matt Leinart’s. PGP.

Going back to your desk to get your cell phone before heading to the bathroom. PGP.

Finally started alternating beer and water, six years after I was taught to do so. PGP.

My girlfriend could do better. PGP.