Former Army Officer turned consultant. Firmly believes that the best ideas are conceived in the shower, twizzlers are way better than red vines, and that he should be allowed to have a $#%&ing beer at lunch. Can't understand why you always think of something better to say after hitting send, how the worst people are always the ones being promoted, or why balding guys don't just shave their heads. Constanly on the verge of starting a quest to work out and eat right. Trying to find love in the DMV.
A-fucking-men! I used this same argument at a beer and wine festival with a girl a few weeks ago. She had nothing to come back with other than it was trendy. She didn’t pee the entire time for this exact reason.
Taking a date you don’t really like to a wedding is like taking your own shitty sandwich to a free buffet. And then being forced to eat the shitty sandwich because you obviously make poor life choices.
Most light beer drinkers can’t pick out their “go-to” in a blind taste test. If you’re drinking light beer from AB or Miller-Coors, it doesn’t matter what brand you’re drinking, it’s all the same shit.
If anyone is wondering where that pressure he’s talking about comes from, it’s not from the LASIK machine, which makes a pretty unsettling snapping noise when the laser fires. It’s from a rubber ring they put over your eye that has a little hose attached to it. The ring suctions to your eyeball to keep you from looking in any direction but straight at the laser. The suction can burst blood vessels which makes you look like a poster child for Clear Eyes. Also, I wasn’t too fond of the smell of burning cornea. With that said, best decision of my life.
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Sounds like a great idea… until you realize that’s 8 dudes sharing 4 beds and nowhere to pee or poop.
What ever happened to SK Energy Shots? Are they still around or did they go the way of Joan Rivers?
A-fucking-men! I used this same argument at a beer and wine festival with a girl a few weeks ago. She had nothing to come back with other than it was trendy. She didn’t pee the entire time for this exact reason.
Doing anything, including backpacking Europe instead of going to college, is better than getting an anthropology degree.
I don’t know about you guys, but if a girl were to say she needs some “Hot D”, I would not be thinking she needs a drink.
Taking a date you don’t really like to a wedding is like taking your own shitty sandwich to a free buffet. And then being forced to eat the shitty sandwich because you obviously make poor life choices.
Nice ZZ Top reference.
Nothing worse than not being able to get proper traction during sexy time.
Most light beer drinkers can’t pick out their “go-to” in a blind taste test. If you’re drinking light beer from AB or Miller-Coors, it doesn’t matter what brand you’re drinking, it’s all the same shit.
Wife and a house with an actual stoop at 30… haha… right.
If anyone is wondering where that pressure he’s talking about comes from, it’s not from the LASIK machine, which makes a pretty unsettling snapping noise when the laser fires. It’s from a rubber ring they put over your eye that has a little hose attached to it. The ring suctions to your eyeball to keep you from looking in any direction but straight at the laser. The suction can burst blood vessels which makes you look like a poster child for Clear Eyes. Also, I wasn’t too fond of the smell of burning cornea. With that said, best decision of my life.
What am I doing with my life!?
A few thoughts: First, what if it’s a girl looking for a girl? Who gets to make the first move? Both of them? What about guy and guy?
Second, bring on the Bumble Bots.
Ha… Zoidberg…
I got the same thing!
Pop a bottle and shake it all over everyone around you.
How dare he besmirch The Boondock Saints.
In the spirit of Chicago, he should have bet to shove a deep dish pizza up there.
Know how to live within your means. Nothing is un-manlier than not being able to pay your bills.
Are you sure they aren’t saying “should’ve”?