Answering the office phone is basically corporate Russian Roulette. PGP.

The first word out of my mouth every day is “fuuuuuuck.” PGP.

I was so excited about getting this job. Now I’m only excited for lunch. PGP.

All Mint.com does is remind me that the majority of my income is spent on alcohol. PGP.

Only keeping Facebook to use Tinder. PGP.

I’m not driving the struggle bus. I’m not even riding the struggle bus. I just got run the fuck over by the struggle bus. PGP.