My only Tinder match for the week has been the Bud Light Down for Whatever profile. PGP

I’m drunk in my LinkedIn profile pic. PGP.

I still make out in bars.PGP

Thinking long term

My work phone is a BlackBerry. PGP.

“Where’d you go to college?” … “Were you Greek?”. PGP

“Which way did you take to get around that accident”? #PGP

Forgetting to turn your volume down while watching the Spring Break story on snapchat while at work.

All of my friends are going to my ex-girlfriends wedding this weekend.

Still using a painted “Formal 2010” cooler. #PGP