Learning to check the left hand when conversing with a member of the opposite sex. PGP.

Bought 20 shares of Powerball today. PGP.

I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t at least a little tired. PGP

Having to create a word document to keep track of your usernames and passwords. PGP.

Now I get why people buy lottery tickets. PGP.

My New Year’s resolution is the same as it was sophomore year in college: To stop pissing myself while blacked out. PGP.

My coworker is ten times more annoying now since his heart attack. PGP.

There’s someone in this city that wants to have sex with me, right? RIGHT?! PGP.

Kyle Orton just retired at half the age I hope to retire. PGP.