Every hurricane season, I get excited at the chance that my city will be hit and I’ll be able to afford a house afterwards. PGP.

The ratio of people to cake is too big. PGP.

Shamelessly “nice work”ing all my comments. PGP.

My best friend just bought a house. I just bought a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with change. PGP.

My parents still ask about my high school girlfriend who is married. PGP.

I found out my current job was posted on LinkedIn, so I applied for it. PGPM.

Management has been asking for people to volunteer to take days off to save money on payroll. I volunteered tomorrow so I can go to a job interview. PGPM.

Just swiped right because I saw granite counters and stainless steel. PGP.

I didn’t know what #FHRITP was until today. Thanks, Jameis. PGP.

My middle-aged coworker just ask me if I knew where to buy weed. PGP.