The simple joy of taking your shoes off at your desk. PGP.

A coworker asked if I have any kids. I said, “Man, I hope not.” They did not find it amusing. PGP.

Using the Snapchat caption to cover your newly-formed double chin. PGP.

I feel like I’m Leonardo DiCaprio from Catch Me If You Can. Every day I go to my new job, dressing and acting like I belong, and wondering when they’ll figure out I don’t know shit. PGP.

“College me” would beat the shit out of “post grad me.” PGP.

Spending money on a Candy Crush level and still not beating it. PGP.

“If I take a melatonin this late I’ll be tired all day tomorrow.” PGP.