Just helped my coworker pull out her first gray hair. Most productive thing I’ve done today. PGP.

Got married Saturday. Didn’t have sex. PGP.

Preparing for countless quarter life crisis jokes. PGP.

My male coworker catfished me. PGP.

Interview for a promotion last week. Received an email informing me HR will “reach out this week.” It’s now Friday. No word. PGP.

I’m a grown man taking a sick day to relive some glory days and play COD 4 with the boys. I have no shame. PGP.