My Male Coworker Catfished Me

My Male Coworker Catfished Me

My coworker catfished me. Yea, that’s right, my coworker catfished me… on a dating website. If you do not know what catfishing is (and you haven’t seen the show on MTV) it is when you create a fake profile on a website or app (Facebook, dating website, Bumble, etc.) to make a person think you are someone else as a way to deceive the person for whatever reason. My male coworker did this to me, and it was the worst moment ever in my adult life.

I want to get something out to start: I’m on these websites to genuinely go on dates and meet someone I want to marry. I’ve had a string of bad luck as of recently and have resorted to dating girls on these websites. I am fully aware that this is shameful and honestly didn’t care as I created these profiles while inebriated and would think “What the hell, why not” the next morning. I’m fully aware that this is embarrassing, but to be honest, I just don’t care.

Here is what happened:

I had sat down for my lunch break (about 10:50, being that is when the students have lunch and when I have my planning period). Naturally, I do the same thing I do every day: pull out my peanut butter sandwich, turn on Netflix and watch either “The League” or “Friends” until my next class comes in. I have another coworker about my age who comes in and eats her lunch with me, so I have some company and someone to laugh along with.

During this time, I like to check my social media as well as the dating sites I’m on. I’ve been using them for the past few months and have slowly received less and less matches, views and messages because I’ve riffled through all the women in my area, so it is especially exciting when I get one of those three. On this particular day I had received a view from a girl (let’s call her Andrea, because that’s what my coworker named her).

Now, one of the first things I do is check where they live. I had been getting views and messages from girls that lived too far away (such as Australia) and didn’t want to get my hopes up. I scrolled down and found that she lived in my area (Gainesville, FL). My interest peaked. Unfortunately, she didn’t have any pictures to go along with her profile, so I waited to do anything and continued to look through her profile. 5 ft. 6, also a teacher, went to University of Florida. Seemed legit.

I then went to see what she (he) had written about herself (himself). I read and found out she (he) was into a lot of the things I was into. This made me suspicious. High school students aren’t dumb, they google their teacher’s names and will dig deep into the internet to find some weird stuff. So, when I saw that this girl was into the exact same things I was, I became concerned.

After some minutes of refreshing, Andrea posted a pictures of herself. It was a side photo of her looking off into the distance (after all this, I would find a stock photo of her through a simple google search). No other photos were posted. She (he) sent me two emotigrams: a smiley face waving and a smiley face winking. Another red flag.

I decided to send an emotigram back of a smiley face (mistake) and leave it at that, me thinking “Eh, what’s the worst.” Andrea (my co-worker) proceeds to send me 5 emotigrams (one “I’m thinking about you” and a “smooch” one being the weirdest two) and liked every one of my photos. Alarm bells were going off in my head. “What if my students are doing this?” “What if my principal finds out they found out?” “What if they print out pictures of this and post it all over the school?” I was full on panicking. The students, while at lunch, have the ability to use their computers, so I was sure it was one of them that had found me. She then posted a new photo of herself that made her look completely different than her original photo. Suspicions confirmed; panic fully set in.

I had to delete the profile. I had no other choice; destroy any evidence I could and pray that nothing else happens. Unfortunately, as I thought of this, the bell rang for classes to come in and I had to teach. My first class after lunch was a class in which I could not use my computer, but I knew that the class after that would give me the opportunity to do so. That class after lunch was the longest ever, waiting for the opportunity to get to my laptop and destroy the profile. The bell rang and the students left, but I couldn’t do what I needed to do then, running the risk students coming in and out seeing what I was doing on a dating website; so I patiently waited.

Students had presentations next and I projected power-points onto the screen. I prayed that no students had said anything in between classes as I got to work deleting my profile. The students were presenting powerpoints, so I’d freeze and unfreeze the projector and stealthy flip between the dating website and their shitty powerpoints so they could continue to present while I did my dirty work. I finally got it done in the middle of one of my students talking: mission completed. All I could do then was pray.

End of the day came and I heard no word of it from any students. I was in the clear. I could go home and rest knowing that I did what I could and hope there was no mention of it the next day. As the euphoria began to set in, my coworker burst into my room laughing hysterically. He looks at me and yells “I CATFISHED YOU SO HARD” and rubbed his ginormous gut of a belly. I stood there in shock. I didn’t know if this was better or worse than if my students had done it. The guy then comes up to me and gives me a big hug saying “It was just a joke, but that was pretty good!” as he continued to laugh more. I said nothing and stood in my spot as he left, laughing his way down the hall. I proceeded to sit in my chair and stare at my laptop screen projecting some grades from one of my classes and contemplated killing him.

I think he told one or two of my other coworkers, because they came to me seeing if I was alright. I wasn’t about to act like something had actually happened, so I played stupid and asked them what they meant and pretended as if nothing had happened. I reflected on the emotigram I had sent and thought: “I sent him a smiley face… I sent him a fucking smiley face thinking he was a woman.” It was horrible. I went home that night and drank some scotch and came to terms with my singlehood and resided to being okay with never meeting a girl ever again. I haven’t talked to him since, and if I do I am going to call him “Andrea.”

Image via Shutterstock

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Son of God. Turned water into wine. Mary Magdalene was a 7 at best. Died for your sins, ass-hat.

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