living the PGL of a accountant in the fast paced world of the Houston reinsurance scene. Proponent of the 4 day work week and day drinking during lunch breaks at the local Chili's. Weekdays you can find me living the cube life and gettin my sweet fluorescent light tan on and on the weekend you can catch me at the beach or at a local bar calling everyone hipsters who order Moscow mules.
Likes: beer, jeeps, scotch, emotionally unavailable women.
Dislikes:
Will deFries
Please don’t purchase a Spyder. Their QC has gone way down hill. Go with a Mini Invert a HALO hopper and try to snag a 45/45 tank for a decent price and make sure to check the hydro date on any tank you buy to make sure it aint past its test date. Mini, Halo, and a used HP tank is a good inexpensive(for paintball) setup that will get ya ballin on noobs and grade school kids.
“Two Star yelp review for totes wasting my saturday because this store lacks cute containers. Just because you’re trying to be healthy doesnt mean you cant be like super trendy.”
I didnt know women needed pickup lines to get dudes…i thought a smile and a thumbs up or a wink was good enough to work on me, though maybe i’m just a basic bro.
Wonder how long befor spitting out constant entertaining content and going HAM on ones bone hammer would lead him to carpal tunnel and end his blogging career.
Or a live blogging from Twin Peaks or Airport Apple Bee’s. It’d be Things Dads of Girls Who Do Things AFTER Graduation Do AFTER Opening Their Credit Card Statement. Mmmmm yes i taste the prestige and blog awards….yes palpable indeed. Also no need to sell it on the resume building you had me at drinking money.
I think i gave it a 2-3 week spread depending on the time of the month and if i had a billing cycle end on the 15th or the last of the month for my water utility
The scaries….i sometimes lie on the floor of my apartment in the dark eating popcorn contemplating how long it’d take for city public services to find my body after slipping in the shower and breaking my neck #PGP ….note to self, get a shower mat.
I’d open up an orphanage and a strip club and create a trust that funnels the profits from the strip club to fund the orphanage. I’d be a fair strip club owner and offer all the strippers PTO and Health Insurance(The Trader Joe’s of the stripping world) because i want happy and motivated strippers to rollover all those japanese business men cause c’mon ladies those orphans need college scholarships!
List of things for Todd to do
1. schedule a totes romantic couple cruise in february
2. like for sure don’t skimp out and get a cabin with a deck and view, preferably the highest one
3. withdraw all your money out of your checking, savings, retirement funds etc. cause you most def need get her that ring
4. increase your life insurance policy
5. when on the ship casually let her see a tiffany’s box by accident (cause omg she totes feels like audrey hepburn in that movie she hasnt watched all the way yet cause 60’s movie are soo not in HD)
6. mention how nice the deck is outside while she’s getting ready to go turn up at the 90’s style club on the cruise ship(cause omg so retro).
7. casually fall off the deck into the pitch black sea
8. have a life jacket, all your cash on ya and a local boat captain arranged to pick ya up before taking the dive.
Bam death faked, parents get your sweet life insurance money(cause sorry mom and dad) and you get to spend the rest of your on some caribean island.
When i die i’d love to comeback as the pet dog to Lower Upper Class WASP family…..eat what you want when you want take a big ol royal deuce on your A-Hole neighbor’s front lawn(yeah i’m talking about you Ted) and then having the blame be put on your owners? Sign me up for that gravy train.
Advertise
Please don’t purchase a Spyder. Their QC has gone way down hill. Go with a Mini Invert a HALO hopper and try to snag a 45/45 tank for a decent price and make sure to check the hydro date on any tank you buy to make sure it aint past its test date. Mini, Halo, and a used HP tank is a good inexpensive(for paintball) setup that will get ya ballin on noobs and grade school kids.
What you do is fold the aluminum top that covers the yogurt into a taco-esq shape and use it as a spoon.
“Two Star yelp review for totes wasting my saturday because this store lacks cute containers. Just because you’re trying to be healthy doesnt mean you cant be like super trendy.”
I thought they were both Carlos
Woodlands and RiverOaks girls all the way
I didnt know women needed pickup lines to get dudes…i thought a smile and a thumbs up or a wink was good enough to work on me, though maybe i’m just a basic bro.
So she takes advantage of mentally deficient adult males? I’m pretty sure there’s a lifetime movie in the making about it.
Also not stealing per se more like letting us be the JT to your Michael Jackson.
Post Saturday Worries with a flow chart
hey i didnt know it was come dressed as a 3 day old party balloon day
Wonder how long befor spitting out constant entertaining content and going HAM on ones bone hammer would lead him to carpal tunnel and end his blogging career.
Or a live blogging from Twin Peaks or Airport Apple Bee’s. It’d be Things Dads of Girls Who Do Things AFTER Graduation Do AFTER Opening Their Credit Card Statement. Mmmmm yes i taste the prestige and blog awards….yes palpable indeed. Also no need to sell it on the resume building you had me at drinking money.
Original work? Here i was just going to take an old defries article and change some adjectives.
I think i gave it a 2-3 week spread depending on the time of the month and if i had a billing cycle end on the 15th or the last of the month for my water utility
The scaries….i sometimes lie on the floor of my apartment in the dark eating popcorn contemplating how long it’d take for city public services to find my body after slipping in the shower and breaking my neck #PGP ….note to self, get a shower mat.
The circle of life is complete
I’d open up an orphanage and a strip club and create a trust that funnels the profits from the strip club to fund the orphanage. I’d be a fair strip club owner and offer all the strippers PTO and Health Insurance(The Trader Joe’s of the stripping world) because i want happy and motivated strippers to rollover all those japanese business men cause c’mon ladies those orphans need college scholarships!
varying degrees of (in)sanity to be precise
List of things for Todd to do
1. schedule a totes romantic couple cruise in february
2. like for sure don’t skimp out and get a cabin with a deck and view, preferably the highest one
3. withdraw all your money out of your checking, savings, retirement funds etc. cause you most def need get her that ring
4. increase your life insurance policy
5. when on the ship casually let her see a tiffany’s box by accident (cause omg she totes feels like audrey hepburn in that movie she hasnt watched all the way yet cause 60’s movie are soo not in HD)
6. mention how nice the deck is outside while she’s getting ready to go turn up at the 90’s style club on the cruise ship(cause omg so retro).
7. casually fall off the deck into the pitch black sea
8. have a life jacket, all your cash on ya and a local boat captain arranged to pick ya up before taking the dive.
Bam death faked, parents get your sweet life insurance money(cause sorry mom and dad) and you get to spend the rest of your on some caribean island.
When i die i’d love to comeback as the pet dog to Lower Upper Class WASP family…..eat what you want when you want take a big ol royal deuce on your A-Hole neighbor’s front lawn(yeah i’m talking about you Ted) and then having the blame be put on your owners? Sign me up for that gravy train.