Everyone, I know this has absolutely nothing to do with the article or anything for that matter but after 28 years and 11 months of life, I have finally grown enough facial hair to sort of say I have a beard. Wanna know how I know it’s official? No? Well, I’m gonna tell you anyway…last night I had ham for dinner and now I can smell it in my face hairs. I’ve officially reached manhood and it feels fucking fantastic.
This is the best philosophy going. The people with goals haven’t yet realized that life is pretty pointless when you boil it down to the basic elements of existence. Much of what we’re taught is lies and everyone is basically enslaved by outdated thought processes and ways of life that limit true human potential. Your only goal in life should be to not listen to anyone else especially if they are less happy/successful than you and if you look around, you’ll see a lot of miserable people so just don’t listen to them at all. People are extremely expendable. Life experiences are not so go do drugs, go skydiving, fuck things up and learn from it and go feel something. Happy holidays everyone and remember God is like Santa Claus for adults!
My dream has always been to start a gang of Vespa scooter riders that wear cardigans instead of leather jackets with the imprint “Cardigan Cartel” embroidered on the backs of the cardigans and then we all just ride really slow and take up the whole road until going from dive bar to dive bar and hustling bikers in pool while we smoke rich cigars and drink foofy pussy drinks because we’re comfortable with own sexuality and we can slay pussy with the best of them (*raised fist emoji and stuff*).
Pink Floyd’s ‘Careful With That Axe Eugene’ could be a decent Christmas song if you visualize it being played while someone is chopping down a Christmas Tree but even better it would be a really great Xmass song if you visualize someone’s drunk crazy uncle taking an axe to the entire family while ‘All I want for Christmas is you’ at the dinner table
This is actually genial because when you look at the divorce rate and attribute that to a trending analysis of how terrible our generation is with commitment, I can see myself attending a lot of these in the future if I live long enough.
Oh Kerry, you stupid fuck. You know what else is a nihilistic threat?…society in general and the lack of the human condition through out it. While you’re scurrying around in your Louis Vuitton shoes going to your masquerade dinner parties, performing humans sacrifices while sharing a bottle of 19th century wine from the vineyards in Burgundy in the name of Satan with the rest of the world’s elite, there are kids in the Dominican Republic using milk cartons as baseball gloves hoping they live to see 21 and a chance to illegally play in the little league World Series, kids in Africa rocking 2011 Patriots Super Bowl Championship shirts to the local contaminated water hole 5 miles away, kids in Syria hoping to just find some bread as their own government and 3 other countries converge on them by blasting them from the sky in the name of fighting terrorism. Are you starting to see the trend here? You’re life is even more meaningless then the one’s who get treated as if they are meaningless. Yoga pants are also great for self ass-fixiation, I suggest you get a nice poly cotton blend to wrap around your neck like a scarf except the only one judging your fashion choices will be the guy at the morgue. Sincerely Go fuck yourself…Hey Now!
You should have offered to walk her home and then brought her to a random house where she doesn’t even live and then try really hard to convince her that she lives there since she’s drunk and drunk people will pretty much believe anything. I mean ask Jesus about that shit. That sly motherfucker.
Everyone, I know this has absolutely nothing to do with the article or anything for that matter but after 28 years and 11 months of life, I have finally grown enough facial hair to sort of say I have a beard. Wanna know how I know it’s official? No? Well, I’m gonna tell you anyway…last night I had ham for dinner and now I can smell it in my face hairs. I’ve officially reached manhood and it feels fucking fantastic.
This is the best philosophy going. The people with goals haven’t yet realized that life is pretty pointless when you boil it down to the basic elements of existence. Much of what we’re taught is lies and everyone is basically enslaved by outdated thought processes and ways of life that limit true human potential. Your only goal in life should be to not listen to anyone else especially if they are less happy/successful than you and if you look around, you’ll see a lot of miserable people so just don’t listen to them at all. People are extremely expendable. Life experiences are not so go do drugs, go skydiving, fuck things up and learn from it and go feel something. Happy holidays everyone and remember God is like Santa Claus for adults!
Double fail…have a good day everyone I’m gonna pack it in for the day now
#blessed&whatnot
Thanks for the gifts guys and when I say gifts, I’m talking about up votes on my comments #blessed&whatnot
Looks like we found our first member. Get me in contact with this dude and let’s all band together and claim our turf
My dream has always been to start a gang of Vespa scooter riders that wear cardigans instead of leather jackets with the imprint “Cardigan Cartel” embroidered on the backs of the cardigans and then we all just ride really slow and take up the whole road until going from dive bar to dive bar and hustling bikers in pool while we smoke rich cigars and drink foofy pussy drinks because we’re comfortable with own sexuality and we can slay pussy with the best of them (*raised fist emoji and stuff*).
Lit-mas test. Don’t drink too much egg nog and try to sleep with your girl’s mom
Pink Floyd’s ‘Careful With That Axe Eugene’ could be a decent Christmas song if you visualize it being played while someone is chopping down a Christmas Tree but even better it would be a really great Xmass song if you visualize someone’s drunk crazy uncle taking an axe to the entire family while ‘All I want for Christmas is you’ at the dinner table
This is actually genial because when you look at the divorce rate and attribute that to a trending analysis of how terrible our generation is with commitment, I can see myself attending a lot of these in the future if I live long enough.
CBD is the fucking cat’s pajamas and such.
Write this down: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t drink” – Drunk Wayne Gretzky
Oh Kerry, you stupid fuck. You know what else is a nihilistic threat?…society in general and the lack of the human condition through out it. While you’re scurrying around in your Louis Vuitton shoes going to your masquerade dinner parties, performing humans sacrifices while sharing a bottle of 19th century wine from the vineyards in Burgundy in the name of Satan with the rest of the world’s elite, there are kids in the Dominican Republic using milk cartons as baseball gloves hoping they live to see 21 and a chance to illegally play in the little league World Series, kids in Africa rocking 2011 Patriots Super Bowl Championship shirts to the local contaminated water hole 5 miles away, kids in Syria hoping to just find some bread as their own government and 3 other countries converge on them by blasting them from the sky in the name of fighting terrorism. Are you starting to see the trend here? You’re life is even more meaningless then the one’s who get treated as if they are meaningless. Yoga pants are also great for self ass-fixiation, I suggest you get a nice poly cotton blend to wrap around your neck like a scarf except the only one judging your fashion choices will be the guy at the morgue. Sincerely Go fuck yourself…Hey Now!
RIP Best. May Angels lead you in and such and so forth and whatnot
Kenneth, you’ve been getting taken advantage of while sober your entire life by the shadow elite cabal so sit your ass down
The minx obv…..rawr
Indeed. It’s posted on my Twitter as we speak
Also, the Sunday Scaries Playlist is ready for your ears to have sex with it. I’m gonna share it on my Twitter. Find me @Nived_Neirbo
You should have offered to walk her home and then brought her to a random house where she doesn’t even live and then try really hard to convince her that she lives there since she’s drunk and drunk people will pretty much believe anything. I mean ask Jesus about that shit. That sly motherfucker.
Can we discuss the toned back muscles on the girl in the stock photo though? I bet she rows the boat really well if you know what I’m sayinnnn’….