Brian, can I write a Conspjracy Thursday piece? I know that’s your jam so I figured I’d ask you directly/indirectly via the comment section of your article
You could just do DMT and be in the absolute pinnacle of euphoria, see what it’s like to be dead while not being dead, and then come down and realize that this life thing that we think is life is actually anti-life, and then assess the options, become risk averse, and other things…of you could just stick to the water. Water is cool too
Get out of there, man. I’m coming there next month for a work thing but after that, they can fence off that city and then sell it to Russia or North Korea or turn into an experimental Trump dictatorship test market for all I care. Just get the Ken Griffey Jr. Memorabilia out of there first and maybe Ichiro
People who slurp their coffee are in the same realm as the people who still don’t know that you need to take your laptop out of your bag and put it in its own bin at the airport security line…they need to be forcibly removed and relocated to Seattle and sentenced to work hard labor in some Amazon warehouse and never see daylight again
Since I’ve written like 2.5 articles on here in the last 4 years, here we go:
“I’m actually pretty beautiful in the outside, on the inside well, you’ll just have to find out now won’t you hehe (or some dumb shit like that). To cut to the chase I have a pretty solid life insurance policy brewing so if you sex me nightly and let me go off the rails a few times a year without trying to give me “the talk”, I’ll make you the beneficiary before you subsequently conspire that have your ex bf that I already know you still talk to everyday kill me to try and make it seem like you had nothing to do with it”
Since you already are negative a house, you’ll have to accrue more debt with you’re fake money to then become negative 2 houses worth of debt. Look on the bright side, when we all get subsequently wiped off the face of the planet within the next 30 years, all that debt you have to pay back won’t mean shit!
Guys, a pristinely eligible list of co-worker names beautifully written in one of those hard cover notebooks with the little ribbon page holder thing with no indication of a title is not the move, it makes you look like a psycho. Also, if you combine that with wearing a trench-coat to the office in the summer time, you’ll look like someone who has plotted to shoot up the place even though we’re all just 1 little bad day away from snapping into a blind rage. For more amazing life advice, hit up my email ;/
Girls, this embodies the principle that in general, people are horrible creatures given special tools to waste on petty pursuits. Hatred is what makes the world go round except it’s in the shape of a rectangle and dyed green with symbolic imagery and bullshit slogans that have no real meaning. People rally around hatred more than positivity because misery breeds company and when you realize when every adult you meet is basically miserable yet chooses to reproduce another future miserablist, you realize that I’m 100% correct….for the record, it’s literally easier to become a member of Illuminati than it is to get verified on Twitter so there’s always that. Gotta think positive
He should have gave him a nice firm handshake (all dudes love firm handshakes from other dudes) and then pulled him in close with his free and as he subtly rested it on the back of the dude’s tricep, and slowly lean in to whisper into the dude’s ear “I know what you did and I also know you probably think you’re pulling the wool over my eyes but if you try to be a condescending prick about this, I’ll literally destroy your life on a supreme psychological level that suicide will be a sensible option for you” then smile and wink at the dude
Did you know that 80% of pharmaceuticals in America are used for the meat industry in order to cause disease in humans so that the other 20% can treat said diseases instead of curing them?
It’s the Solstice today, folks. This gives all of us more daylight to accomplish our dreams and goals besides the fact that the shadow government that controls us all is slowly killing us. Today, my goal is to acquire massive wealth from the tech industry so that I can sway decisions and drive a Tesla with a Hemi bio diesel engine in it that runs off fryolator oil from McDonald’s because never forget that corporations run the world lol….lol I’m losing it, folks
I’m going to start reading The Panama Papers so I can figure out how to become a wealthy elite and never have to go to work again and also learn how to properly offshore my financial assets to avoid taxation. This summer is going to be the best one out of all the summers I said we’re going to be the best summers
Both of you watch Isaiah Mitchel from Earthless play guitar (YouTube that shit immediately) learn as much as you can and then don’t come out of your rooms until you have reached god status
The best way to prevent voicemails is to have a really solid voicemail greeting.
“Hi, you’ve reached (your name), please don’t waste your time leaving me a message and I won’t have to waste my time not listening to it. If I want to call you back, I will or I’ll just text you because your voice is probably annoying and sucks.”
Advertise
It’s a good doc for sure
Brian, can I write a Conspjracy Thursday piece? I know that’s your jam so I figured I’d ask you directly/indirectly via the comment section of your article
You could just do DMT and be in the absolute pinnacle of euphoria, see what it’s like to be dead while not being dead, and then come down and realize that this life thing that we think is life is actually anti-life, and then assess the options, become risk averse, and other things…of you could just stick to the water. Water is cool too
Get out of there, man. I’m coming there next month for a work thing but after that, they can fence off that city and then sell it to Russia or North Korea or turn into an experimental Trump dictatorship test market for all I care. Just get the Ken Griffey Jr. Memorabilia out of there first and maybe Ichiro
BLT’s are the club sandwich for people teetering the poverty line and that club’s membership is getting a cult like following
People who slurp their coffee are in the same realm as the people who still don’t know that you need to take your laptop out of your bag and put it in its own bin at the airport security line…they need to be forcibly removed and relocated to Seattle and sentenced to work hard labor in some Amazon warehouse and never see daylight again
Since I’ve written like 2.5 articles on here in the last 4 years, here we go:
“I’m actually pretty beautiful in the outside, on the inside well, you’ll just have to find out now won’t you hehe (or some dumb shit like that). To cut to the chase I have a pretty solid life insurance policy brewing so if you sex me nightly and let me go off the rails a few times a year without trying to give me “the talk”, I’ll make you the beneficiary before you subsequently conspire that have your ex bf that I already know you still talk to everyday kill me to try and make it seem like you had nothing to do with it”
*insert Celine Dione song chorus quote*
*pineapple and Capricorn sign emoji*
Since you already are negative a house, you’ll have to accrue more debt with you’re fake money to then become negative 2 houses worth of debt. Look on the bright side, when we all get subsequently wiped off the face of the planet within the next 30 years, all that debt you have to pay back won’t mean shit!
The lord and savior always coming through with the life saving jams I wish you could really come through on real things though ;(
Guys, a pristinely eligible list of co-worker names beautifully written in one of those hard cover notebooks with the little ribbon page holder thing with no indication of a title is not the move, it makes you look like a psycho. Also, if you combine that with wearing a trench-coat to the office in the summer time, you’ll look like someone who has plotted to shoot up the place even though we’re all just 1 little bad day away from snapping into a blind rage. For more amazing life advice, hit up my email ;/
Well, you must have the gifts of supreme beings from another dimension because I can’t get verified on there yet I’m ME!
Girls, this embodies the principle that in general, people are horrible creatures given special tools to waste on petty pursuits. Hatred is what makes the world go round except it’s in the shape of a rectangle and dyed green with symbolic imagery and bullshit slogans that have no real meaning. People rally around hatred more than positivity because misery breeds company and when you realize when every adult you meet is basically miserable yet chooses to reproduce another future miserablist, you realize that I’m 100% correct….for the record, it’s literally easier to become a member of Illuminati than it is to get verified on Twitter so there’s always that. Gotta think positive
He should have gave him a nice firm handshake (all dudes love firm handshakes from other dudes) and then pulled him in close with his free and as he subtly rested it on the back of the dude’s tricep, and slowly lean in to whisper into the dude’s ear “I know what you did and I also know you probably think you’re pulling the wool over my eyes but if you try to be a condescending prick about this, I’ll literally destroy your life on a supreme psychological level that suicide will be a sensible option for you” then smile and wink at the dude
I’m changing my strategy, I’m just gonna give the truth to everyone straight up like a Zima
Did you know that 80% of pharmaceuticals in America are used for the meat industry in order to cause disease in humans so that the other 20% can treat said diseases instead of curing them?
It’s the Solstice today, folks. This gives all of us more daylight to accomplish our dreams and goals besides the fact that the shadow government that controls us all is slowly killing us. Today, my goal is to acquire massive wealth from the tech industry so that I can sway decisions and drive a Tesla with a Hemi bio diesel engine in it that runs off fryolator oil from McDonald’s because never forget that corporations run the world lol….lol I’m losing it, folks
I’m going to start reading The Panama Papers so I can figure out how to become a wealthy elite and never have to go to work again and also learn how to properly offshore my financial assets to avoid taxation. This summer is going to be the best one out of all the summers I said we’re going to be the best summers
Both of you watch Isaiah Mitchel from Earthless play guitar (YouTube that shit immediately) learn as much as you can and then don’t come out of your rooms until you have reached god status
Just randomly shout “guilty” periodically and see how that goes
The best way to prevent voicemails is to have a really solid voicemail greeting.
“Hi, you’ve reached (your name), please don’t waste your time leaving me a message and I won’t have to waste my time not listening to it. If I want to call you back, I will or I’ll just text you because your voice is probably annoying and sucks.”