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Navigating the tumultuous, murky waters of female friendship can be more confusing than a hot guy attempting to pull off a RompHim. Of course in an ideal world, all your friends would get along swimmingly, everyone giggling while braiding each other’s hair and making friendship bracelets until the early hours of the morning.
But things aren’t like when you were 8 years old at summer camp.
Unfortunately, the “everyone is BFFs” mentality has transformed into cliques, frenemies, and selectively inviting the ladies you know will get along best to specific activities while others miss out on the group text.
I’ll be the first to admit that it can be annoying, and occasionally a hassle, knowing that Amanda isn’t a fan of Sierra, and Vanessa doesn’t like the bars that Ashley loves, etc. (That doesn’t mean that I still don’t force them all together once a year on my birthday, but I digress.)
Despite the differences and underlying conflicts in Girl World, there is one factor that overrides all others: mutual hatred of the same person.
They say that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and when that thought multiplies things get scary.
Recently I got to witness the strength of this sentiment first hand, and I have to say that it was glorious.
My former best friend got engaged a little over a year ago to a guy who hates me. This was the girl I did everything with, including lived with for three years, and that all came crashing down when she fell fast and hard for the first real boyfriend she’d ever had.
The breaking point for us came when he yelled at me in a bar that I was single because I didn’t read the Bible. A laughable fight to say the least, but she clearly could not continue to be besties with a heathen like myself.
So I lost a friend and she started planning a wedding.
There was the proposal and ensuing Facebook photo album that turned into a Pinterest board. Following that was the Save the Date and engagement photos, then the planning status updates asking for recommendations for things from photographers to venues to spray tans. Everything was prominently on social media display leading up to the bachelorette party, and finally the Big Day.
Now I’m not sure if you’ve heard a gaggle of bitches discuss weddings, but even the details of your closest friends and family member’s weddings are fair game for total dissection. And heaven forbid if you actually don’t like the person whose wedding it is because that’s called a massacre.
To say that I am proud of my friends for banding together in solidarity to bash this girl’s happy day would be an understatement. Whether via text, group message, Snapchat or in-person over drinks, I had ladies from every aspect of my life entertaining me daily as the updates rolled in. Because whenever a new post appeared, I had multiple screenshots lighting up my inbox ready to be reviewed and mocked. And honestly, the speed and consistency with which I was notified by my ragtag crew was impressive.
It didn’t matter that they might not be each other’s favorite person. All that mattered was the fact that they now shared a common enemy towards whom their disdain could be directed. Shared interests are the best way to bring people together, after all.
And yeah we could have all been better people by ignoring things and not trashing the quality of the photos and how tacky the favors were, but where’s the fun in that? To quote my friend in regards to our behavior: “We wouldn’t be so petty and bitchy if she wasn’t such a bitch to you in the first place.”
And that, my friends, is what #squadgoals are all about.
I’m not saying everyone should go out and be terrible, awful, gossipy people and add to the ridiculousness that is being in a group of girl friends. But the next time Jen is dreading being around Anna or vice versa, try reminding them about that douchebag who cheated on Rachel a few months ago. Then just sit back and watch the bonding magic happen..
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