I’ve had the dad bod before dad bods were cool. PGP

Frantically pressing the close door button in the elevator at the sound of approaching footsteps. PGP.

Your boss asking for a volunteer, but then just choosing you anyway

We all just got laid off.

Tuesday is the day I stop regretting last weekend and start looking forward to this weekend. PGP.

People are beginning to expect more out of me. PGP

Took a personal on Monday. Saw a matinee by myself, cut the lawn, and was in bed by 9. PGP

“Can you check this for me?” PGP.

Tried to impress a girl at the gym…threw my back out