I stayed up the whole flight waiting for my flight attendant to bring my coffee, which she apparently forgot about. PGP.

“Heard you were a legend last night.” PGP.

My piss still smells like beer. PGP.

Made a mistake at the company event and am getting judged by the female colleagues…. blame it on the open bar. PGP.

Requested PTO to take off last Thursday. The request is still pending. I took off last Thursday regardless. PGPM.

My manager added me on Snapchat. PGP.

Too old for tinder. Too young for Match.

Excited for summer. Because traffic will be lighter. PGP.

My weekends: taking calls and answering emails in my bed still hungover. PGP.

“I’m not sure what your question is.” PGP.