I’ve done about 30 minutes of actual work this week, and I’m upset that I’ve even done that much. PGP.

1: “I have a case of the Mondays.” 2: “No, you have that every single day.” PGP.

1: “So what are you working on right now?” 2: “Stuff.” PGP.

My manager signs me up for meetings she doesn’t want to attend. I have no idea what the hell these meetings are about. PGP.

Put up as many motivational posters you want, I will be working at the same pace. PGP.

1: “When is the next three day weekend?” 2: “Late May.” 1: “Shit.” PGP.

“Late night, come home. Work sucks, I know.” PGP.

Giving a shit about your lawn. PGP.

Working from home = PlayStation 4 + ensuring communicator is always green. PGP.

The only thing I have in common with my 18-year-old brother is that we both want fake IDs saying we are 21. PGP.