Getting volun-told to clean out the break room fridge. PGP.

It took me four cups of coffee to realize that someone had brewed decaf in the regular color designated coffee pot. PGP.

I fired someone today. I think I cried more than they did. PGP.

I’m on a first name basis with the Chinese delivery guy, but none of my neighbors. PGP.

The only thing I have in common with the other women in my office is our love of Crockpots. PGP.

Papa John’s Rewards points serve as currency in my house. PGP.

Sometimes I make my bed for the sole purpose of feeling like I have my life together. PGP.

My boss is making us all take the ice bucket challenge tomorrow, regardless of whether or not we donate. Not like I could afford to anyway. PGP.

Too slutty to work at Hobby Lobby. PGP.

My life is now just looking forward to the next time I get drunk and hate myself for it. PGP.